In
February 2002, the Department of Justice purchased $8,000 curtains to
cover an Art Deco statue whose aluminum breast was embarassing Attorney
General John Ashcroft.
That
sounded like a burka... purchased with my taxes!
So
I flew to Washington and photographed every naked statue I could find.
Then I researched an interesting story to go along
with each work of art.
Recurring features tie the articles together :
Theme maps pinpoint the location of penises, buttocks and breasts—even
horse’s asses and phallic symbols.
A “Flesh Factor” rating system grades the naughtiness of
each sculpture group on a scale from 1 to 5... and suggests how the
Vice Squad might react if the statues were flesh and blood.
Light commentary for each sculpture tells about its artist, its subject,
the controversy surrounding its creation—one or more of these aspects.
Other commentary pokes wry fun at censorship, the absurdities of our
government, and the schizophrenic nature of our nation's Capital City.
online
mini-proposal
Table of Contents click
on these links
$8,000 on curtains to cover up one Art Deco aluminum breast?
At that rate, it would cost millions to censor the hundreds of breasts, buttocks,
and penises on public display in Washington, D.C.—at least those which
are sculpted and stationary.
I photographed over a hundred different subjects around the capital—mostly
outdoor sculpture. I present some of them in this proposal for a photo book
titled Naked Washington.
On the following pages I’ve combined visuals, humor, and irreverant politics
to mock the current mood of prudery in Washington. This proposal covers 12 of
over 60 possible subjects. Some highlights...
The Library of Congress, where tastefully lurid art covers most walls and
ceilings, featuring bare breasts and provocative titles such as “Corrupt
Legislation” and “Anarchy.”
The Court of Neptune (1898), where a gallery of anatomically correct nymphs
and tritons cavort in spraying water and full public view. Oh, those naughty
Victorians!
The Boy Scout Memorial (1964), where a neoclassical naked man stalks a fully
clothed boy a few hundred feet from the White House. Oh, those homophobic
scouts!
Recurring features tie the articles together :
Theme maps pinpoint the location of penises, buttocks and breasts—even
horse’s asses and phallic symbols.
A “Flesh Factor” rating system grades the naughtiness of each
sculpture group on a scale from 1 to 5... and suggests how the Vice Squad
might react if the statues were flesh and blood.
Light commentary for each sculpture tells about its artist, its subject,
the controversy surrounding its creation—one or more of these aspects.
Other commentary pokes wry fun at censorship, the absurdities of our government,
and the schizophrenic nature of our nation's Capital City
Theme Maps
Penises
The Royal Campus, Horses’ Asses
Breasts of Bronze, Buns of Stone
Sexual Metaphors
Dens of Iniquity
Commentaries
Why I wrote this book, Washington’s schizophrenic nature, History of
Minnie-Lou (the statue that started it all), Teach Don’t Preach (Pornography
vs. Art), Why artists love nudes (roots of neoclassicism), When government
sponsors Art (WPA and other programs)
More themes and subjects will doubtless arise as I write the book.
On the next two pages, check out thumbnails of the remaining articles, then
a complete list on the final page...
Market Analysis
This book could be a perennial favorite of D.C. tourists and tour
guides, and should enjoy a large initial surge of interest if published during
election year 2004. If Conservatives single it out as disrespectful, the free
publicity could easily drive even higher interest, and higher sales. Internet
buzz could quickly become exponential.
A friend who works at a National Gallery boutique showed a draft
of this proposal to the store buyers—and they wanted to stock it immediately!
I propose to personally deliver consignment copies to booksellers all over Greater
Washington.
There has never been a book like this published. The only work
even close is The Outdoor Sculpture of Washington, D.C., by James M. Goode,
Smithsonian Institution Press 1974... a definitive but dry volume. The author
understood the naughty potential of his subject matter, but chose (or was instructed)
to offer shy and subtle black-and-white photos with academic descriptions. Goode’s
book is a college course; Naked Washington is a college party.
Dozens of buttocks, breasts, and penises are on display in Washington, D.C.—rendered
in bronze, granite, limestone, gold leaf, and oil paint. In a leisurely single
day, you can visit:
The Court of Neptune, where a gallery of anatomically correct nymphs and
tritons cavort in spraying water and full public view
The Boy Scout Memorial, where an oversized naked man stalks a fully-clothed
scout a few hundred feet from the White House
The Library of Congress, where tastefully lurid art covers the walls and
ceilings, featuring bare breasts and provocative titles such as “Corrupt
Legislation” and “Anarchy”
There is so much more. Come inside. Tour the nation’s capital as never
before!
